Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Hello. How May I Not Help You?

The other day, I had the most absurd, maddening and yet extremely hilarious exchange with an online customer service representative.

Here is the product I was trying to purchase as it appeared on the website:

Red Bamboo Rug (3' Octagonal)

My questions were: What are the measurements of the rug? And what does 3' Octagonal mean?

Here is my exchange with the online customer service representative, who is clearly not named Palmer:

Palmer: Hi, my name is Palmer. How may I help you?

Visitor: Hi Palmer.

Visitor: I'm looking for the measurements of a rug.

Visitor: It says 3' Octagonal and I don't know what that means.

Palmer: It is 'Red Bamboo Rug (3' Octagonal)', correct?

Visitor: yes

Palmer: Since this rug comes with the thickness of 0.125 inch it is considered as 8 edged rug hence it is called Octagonal Rug.

Visitor: OK

Visitor: What are the dimensions though?

Palmer: Dimension of the rug is 3 ft. octagonal.

Visitor: I still don't understand. What is the length and what is the width?

Palmer: It comes with the dimensions of Height: 3 Width: 3Length: 36.

Visitor: 36 inches long and 3 feet wide?

Palmer: Yes, that is correct.

Visitor: But wait. If it's 36" long and 3' wide, wouldn't that make it a square? Because the rug is in the shape of a rectangle.

Visitor: And how could the height be 3 feet if it's a rug?

Palmer: I am sorry, I am unable to locate the information on the product page.

Palmer: I apologize for the inconvenience that caused to you.

Visitor: Where did you get Height: 3 Width: 3Length: 36 from?

Palmer: It is described in Product Description page.

Visitor: Can you send me a link to that page?

Visitor: I don't see a product description page with that information.

Palmer: I am sorry, we do not have an option to send that link.

Palmer: Thanks for visiting our website Have a nice day.

Palmer has disconnected.

Of course I went ahead and ordered the rug. I had to have answers and I certainly wasn't getting them from "Palmer".

This is what was delivered to me:

Of course! Now this makes total sense to me.

Thanks "Palmer"!

*Wraps self in 3' Octagonal Red Bamboo Rug and Jumps through closed window*...