Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Dick Boomerang...

Anthony Weiner hurls his wang across the Internet like a dick boomerang. It flutters through cyberspace, splitting virtual hoohas in two. It travels safely home from it's elliptical journey, returning to the hand from which it had flung.

The TV, newspapers and interwebz are saturated with wiener jokes.

It's pretty incredible.

How can a guy with the name Weiner, be involved in a dick scandal?



Harold Camping must be fuming over this whole ordeal. If only he had predicted this as the first sign of the Rapture, instead of the earthquakes.

It's so hard to deliver on the promise of a global scale earthquake. The stars really need to align.

But a dick scandal involving a politician? It's as if you can't spit these days without hitting a dick scandal.

I'm assuming that this is the first Dad Blog to use both the words spit and dick in the same sentence.

I am not proud nor am I ashamed.

I am in bed, laying on a heating pad with a bad back.

My wife is asleep next to me.

She is a loud breather.

My daughters are sleeping in our room tonight. They are on the floor. I can hear them breathing as well.

I will not fall asleep tonight. It is impossible with all of the breathing.

I would imagine that this is how Zeppo felt on any given night, when lying awake on his steel cot, listening to Chico, Harpo, Groucho and Gummo.

A chorus of breath.

I suppose this gives me good reason to Tweet my junk out onto the internet?

Do guys really do that sort of thing?

Does your first name have to be Dick or your last name Johnson?

Is this sort of thing considered self fulfilling prophecy?

Why doesn't the word prophecy come up in spell check?

Do any of us really give a shit about this guy's wiener?

Is it just me or were his pecs really cut for a Jewish guy?

I deserve some credit.

I could have easily thrown my wiener on Facebook tonight, just because.


There goes another Dick Boomerang...

This post is dedicated to the Penis Enlargement websites that have bought text link ads on my homepage. Without you, all of this would not be possible. Thank you for believing in me when no other respectable brands would. By the way, I know a guy that would be a great spokesman and I have a sneaking suspicion he'll be looking for work in the near future.