Tonight I will bare all for a good cause.
Tonight is the night I give back a little bit.
Tonight I will put my insecurities on hold and embolden my self esteem in order to set an example for millions that struggle with a crippling affliction.
But there is one thing that I am absolutely terrified of...
I am terrified that I have improperly used the word "embolden" in the preceding text of this post.
Please forgive me.
Some of you know about the Blogger Body Calendar. It's a terrific project that will benefit the National Eating Disorder Association; A non-profit organization that supports individuals and families affected by eating disorders, and serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care.
I am Mr. July.
I know. You don't have to say it. My wife already took care of that...
In our home late last night...
Out-Numbered - I need to shave myself before we go to sleep.
Wife - What do you mean, WE?
Out-Numbered - I might need you to help me.
Wife - I think you can manage.
Out-Numbered - Seriously, I'm doing my photo shoot tomorrow.
Wife - Seriously, I shaved you last week.
Out-Numbered - Yeah. Exactly.
Wife - Honey, men are supposed to have hair.
Out-Numbered - Yeah but not in a calendar. It's not sexy.
Wife - Are you kidding me?
Out-Numbered - I'm not Tom Selleck.
Wife - No, you're not Tom Selleck.
Out-Numbered - Fine. Forget it. I'll do it myself.
Wife - Great.
Out-Numbered - But I'm gonna be pissed if I have bald patches on my arm hair.
Wife - Why would you shave your arm hair?
Out-Numbered - Because it's gross. I'm like a Sasquatch.
Wife - Isn't the point of this whole thing to be yourself?
Out-Numbered - I am being myself. Just less hairy.
Wife - What do you want?
Out-Numbered - I need you to help me decide what to wear.
Wife - OK. What are my choices?
Out-Numbered - I was thinking underwear.
Laughter.
Out-Numbered - Why are you laughing?
Wife - Don't take this the wrong way but who exactly do you expect to buy this calendar?
Out-Numbered - Oh, why on earth would I take that the wrong way? Thanks. That makes me feel really sexy.
Wife - You've gotta stop with the sexy already.
Out-Numbered - C'mon, I need your help deciding.
Wife - OK. What kind of underwear?
Out-Numbered - I was gonna buy white boxer briefs.
Laughter.
Wife - That's totally sexy. You should do that.
Laughter.
Wife - Are you gonna shave your legs too?
Out-Numbered - Stop it.
Wife - What else?
Out-Numbered - What about jeans?
Wife - What jeans?
Out-Numbered - I was thinking of wearing my worn out, big jeans.
Wife - Why not wear you good jeans?
Out-Numbered - Because my big jeans fall down a little bit and my underwear will show a little. I feel like that's kinda sexy. No?
Laughter.
Wife - Oh yeah. Totally sexy. Like Mark Wahlberg.
Out-Numbered - Forget it. I'll pack all of it and let the photographer decide.
Wife - Why do you keep calling her your photographer?
Out-Numbered - Because that's what she is.
Wife - She's your friend from college.
Out-Numbered - I hate you.
Laughter.
Out-Numbered - I'm going to sleep...
Wife - Make sure to clean the bathroom floor after you shave your arms.
Laughter.
Out-Numbered - Shut up.
Look out world. There's a new kinda sexy in town and his name is...
Jason Selleckberg.