Thursday, June 17, 2010

Conversations With John Stamos...

I have this recurring nightmare. It's a pretty classic anxiety / control dream.

I'm back in college wandering the halls and it's finals week. I am experiencing a complete loss of time. I have this terrible realization that I am completely unprepared for my exams and that I haven't been to class in months. I can't find the exam room and I'm not even sure of my class schedule. My vision is blurry. I am completely confused.

Even though this might be symbolic for other things going on in my waking life, ironically it's pretty close to how college went for me.

This dream is a good analogy for parenting.

There are times when I am completely confused, unprepared and my vision is extremely blurry.

The other evening while watching Full House with my kids.

7 Year Old - Do we know anyone that had a baby that died?

Out-Numbered - What? Why do you ask that?

7 Year Old - I heard someone talking about it.

Out-Numbered - What do you mean, died?

7 Year Old - Like do you know anyone who was going to have a baby but it died before it came out?

Out-Numbered - You mean a miscarriage?

7 Year Old - What's a miscarriage?

Out-Numbered - Um, that's when something goes wrong when a woman is pregnant and the baby dies before it's born.

7 Year Old - Do you know anyone that had a miscarriage?

Out-Numbered - Yes.

7 Year Old - Who?

Out-Numbered - Well, I don't think we should talk about anyone's business but our own.

7 Year Old - How come?

Out-Numbered - Because they might not want to talk about it and it's very private.

7 Year Old - Why?

Out-Numbered - Because it's painful.

7 Year Old - It hurts.

Out-Numbered - I mean it's painful for someone to talk about it.

7 Year Old - Why?

Out-Numbered - Because it would probably make them sad to think about it.

7 Year Old - Did Mommy have a miscarriage?

Out-Numbered - Yes she did.

7 Year Old - REALLY? Whoa! When?

Out-Numbered - Before your sister was born.

7 Year Old - Did I die?

Out-Numbered - What do you think?

7 Year Old - No?

Out-Numbered - No.

7 Year Old - Where you sad?

Out-Numbered - Of course I was sad.

7 Year Old - Was Mommy sad?

Out-Numbered - Very sad.

7 Year Old - Did you cry?

Out-Numbered - I don't think so.

7 Year Old - How come you didn't cry?

Out-Numbered - Because I knew it was God's way of telling us that the baby wasn't healthy and it wasn't ready to be here with us.

7 Year Old - Did Mommy cry?

Out-Numbered - Yes.

7 Year Old - Did it hurt?

Out-Numbered - Probably but you would have to ask Mommy.

7 Year Old - How did she know the baby died?

Out-Numbered - Because when she went to the Doctor, it wasn't moving anymore and they didn't hear the baby's heart beating.

7 Year Old - How did they get the baby out?

Out-Numbered - They use a special machine.

7 Year Old - Does that hurt?

Out-Numbered - I'm not sure.

7 Year Old - What kind of machine?

Out-Numbered - It's kind of like a special vacuum cleaner.

7 Year Old - Does it go in Mommy's vagina?

Out-Numbered - I think so.

7 Year Old - Ewww.

Out-Numbered - You know what though?

7 Year Old - What?

Out-Numbered - Everything happens for a reason.

7 Year Old - What does that mean?

Out-Numbered - It means that your Mother and I were very sad that it happened but if it didn't happen, we would never have had your little sister.

7 Year Old - That's true. She is annoying though.

Out-Numbered - So are you.

7 Year Old - How old do you think Uncle Jesse was when they made Full House?

Out-Numbered - You mean John Stamos?

7 Year Old - The handsome one.

Out-Numbered - John Stamos. I have no idea. Maybe 25?

7 Year Old - Whoa. He was old. He doesn't look old.

Out-Numbered - Do I look old?

7 Year Old - Yes.

Out-Numbered - Thanks.

7 Year Old - Your welcome.

Someone please pinch me...