Thursday, May 27, 2010


Hair hair everywhere
Don't look now! It's right in there.
It's in the sink, it's on the floor
It's in my bed, it's on the door.

Where it comes from
I don't know.
It comes in bunches

My wife and kids
Don't seem to care.
I'll bet it's in their underwear.

I pick it up when no one's looking
Sometimes when my wife is cooking.
If I don't clean it, no one will.
And soon the hair my house will fill.

It sticks to everything it touches
It seems to like the hairy brushes.
It's slowly driving me insane
It's clogging every bathroom drain.

I wish my wife and kids would try
To keep their hair in short supply.
You'd think we have a little pup.
It's plain and simple, sweep it up

It must be them that shed this hair
For I don't have that much to spare.
It's on my butt and on my chest
I'm like an ape I must confess.

It's not a zoo or barber shop
It's not a barn with pigs and slop.
I'm very close to giving up
Don't make me have to fuck shit up.

Thank You -
The Management

Editors Note: I want to make it clear that aside from the hair thing, my wife happens to keep a clean home. The hair seems to be an occupational hazard that must be endured by myself and other husbands that father daughters all over the world. We shower almost everyday, so the hair is very clean. We also have a cleaning lady. We recycle the hair on a daily basis and use it for mulch in our vegetable garden. We are green like that.