Friday, April 16, 2010


According to the Dictionary, the word Angle has many meanings:

1) To fish with a hook and line.

2) The figure formed by two lines diverging from a common point.

3) A devious method; a scheme.

4) A biased way of presenting something or looking at something.

5) A member of a Germanic people who conquered England and merged with the Saxons and Jutes to become Anglo-Saxons.

Apparently there is one that I am unaware of...

Yesterday morning

Out-Numbered - Let's move it ladies. We're late.

7 Year Old - UGH!

This is such a normal sound in my house that it barely phases me anymore. My wife and two daughters have completely coherent conversations between them, simply by changing the intonation of the sound, "UGH". I'm sure this is not dissimilar to the dialect that originated from our neanderthal cousins. I digress.

Out-Numbered - Now what's wrong?

7 Year Old - I hate my hair.

Out-Numbered - What's wrong with your hair?

7 Year Old - It's horrible. It looks stupid.

Out-Numbered - Let me see.

7 Year Old walks out from the bathroom. She looks like she's been sucking on a lemon.

Out-Numbered - What's the problem?

7 Year Old - Dad, are you kidding me?

Out-Numbered - No. I think it looks fine.

7 Year Old - No it doesn't. It looks stupid.

Off the record, her hair did look like shit but I have no idea if it had anything to do with angles.

Out-Numbered - Then put it in a ponytail.

7 Year Old - I can't even put it in a ponytail.

Out-Numbered - Do you want me to put it in a ponytail?


Out-Numbered - Then what are you talking about?

7 Year Old - Suzie cut my hair and she gave me these stupid angles.

Out-Numbered - It looks straight to me.

7 Year Old - DAD!

Out-Numbered - What?

7 Year Old - My hair. She gave me angles.

Out-Numbered - I don't know what you're talking about.

3 Year Old - UGH!

Out-Numbered - Don't you even start.

7 Year Old - My hair keeps falling in my face and I can't put it in a ponytail because it keeps falling out because of the angles.

Out-Numbered - So what do you want me to do?

7 Year Old - You don't know anything about girls. NOTHING!

Out-Numbered - That's probably true.

7 Year Old - And you live with THREE of them.

Out-Numbered - You can count. I'm impressed.

7 Year Old - I'm not going to school.

Out-Numbered - OK. So you're gonna stay here at the house?

7 Year Old - Yes.

Out-Numbered - OK then. We'll see you later. Just don't answer the doorbell for anyone.

7 Year Old - Not even you?

Out-Numbered - Why would I ring the doorbell?

7 Year Old - What if you forgot your keys?

Out-Numbered - I won't forget my keys.

7 Year Old - But what if you did? Can I answer the doorbell then?


7 Year Old - OK. Stop yelling at me.

Out-Numbered - I'll stop yelling when you start listening.

7 Year Old - I'll go to school but I'm never cutting my hair again.

Out-Numbered - Fantastic.

3 Year Old - My feet hurt.

Out-Numbered - UGH!

*In the spirit of full disclosure, I will confess that I spelled intelligence incorrectly three times before I conceded and used spell-check.