Monday, November 16, 2009

What Would OZZY Do?

Driving in the car with my two daughters. My wife is at the Salon, again. We are on a mission. French Toast and Bacon at the Diner.

I have Black Sabbath playing in the CD player. I love Black Sabbath but it is obvious that my daughters do not share this passion with their Father.

Out-Numbered (Singing in Ozzy Falsetto)- "Nobody will ever let you know. When you ask the reasons why"

3 Yr Old - "You're the best singer in the whole world Daddy."

Out-Numbered - "Thank you sweetheart." (Continue singing) "
They just tell you that you're on your own. Fill your head all full of lies..."

7 Yr Old - "No he's not. He's the worst singer in the whole world."

Out-Numbered - "That's not nice baby." (Singing louder) "Where can you run to.
What more can you do. No more tomorrow. Life is killing you."

3 Yr Old - "No. He's the best singer!"

7 Yr Old - "No! He's the worst singer and the person singing on the radio is even worse."

Out-Numbered - "Now stop that! Ozzy is the best singer of all-time and I'm a very good singer too."

(Making the radio louder and singing louder.)

Out-Numbered - "Dreams turn to nightmares. Heaven turns to hell. Burned out confusion. Nothing more to tell."

7 Yr Old - "He's terrible. He sounds like a girl and you can't even understand what he's saying."

Out-Numbered - "Let me ask you a question. Does he sound like any other singer you've ever heard?"

7 Yr Old - "No. He's annoying. Like you."

Out-Numbered - "That's my point."

7 Yr Old - "What? That you're annoying?"

Out-Numbered - "No, Dufus. That Ozzy is totally different than anybody else and that's why he's the greatest singer ever."

(Making the radio even louder and singing even louder. Trying to be annoying.)

Out-Numbered - "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. Nothing more to do."

3 Yr Old - "I like OZBY, Daddy."

7 Yr Old - "It's OZZY dummy."

(Screaming over the music)

3 Yr Old - "I'm not a dummy. You're a dummy!"

7 Yr Old - "YOU ARE!"

3 Yr Old - "YOU ARE!!!"

Out-Numbered - (Singing) "Living just for dying. Dying just for you. Yeah!"

7 Yr Old - "I HATE YOU!"

3 Yr Old - "I HATE YOU!"

Out-Numbered - "I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER RIGHT NOW!!! Just as soon as this song is over..."

(Turning it up one more notch...)

7 Yr Old & 3 Yr Old - (Screaming inaudibly behind a wall of Black Sabbath.)

I bet you Ozzy never felt Out-Numbered. He would have bit their little heads off...