Monday, November 23, 2009

Backstreet Boys: Request For Audition...

Dear Nick, Brian, A.J. and Howie,

I know you fellas are probably quite busy at the moment, on the heels of the big release of the new album, “This Is Us”. I just wanted to take a moment to reach out and discuss the possible merits of a mutually beneficial business collaboration between myself and the band.

My motivation for contacting you is two fold.

First of all, I realize that the sudden departure of founding Backstreet Boy member, Kevin Richardson, must have had a profoundly negative effect on the chemistry of the band. I am aware that he has not been replaced and for good reason. As the oldest member of the group, his patriarchal influence must have been an essential ingredient to the overall balance and order of the ensemble. He was like an older brother to the rest of you and quite possibly the strongest song writer. Judging by the initial negative reaction to the album, from both critics and fans alike, the void that Kevin has left, still remains unfilled.

And second of all, I am a loyal and longtime fan of the Backstreet Boys. I had front row seats for the Into The Millennium Tour back in 99'. You might remember me, as I was the guy with the beard and the Backstreet Boys tank top, that accidentally elbowed the young lady with the "We Love You Nick!" sign. Yes that was my underwear that hit Howie during "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely".

Furthermore, I am a talented musician, break dancer, singer and songwriter. I have plenty of life experience and I know the catalog of material well. I am 38 years young. I can replace the empty space left by the older and wiser Kevin. With me, comes much needed leadership and guidance. I am an older brother to two siblings. I was a C0- Captain of my High School Wrestling team and Senior Class Historian.

Please allow me to present a brief synopsis of my background and credentials.

1982: Mrs Gart's Production of "The King and I" - Played Prince Chulalongkorn. Duet with Louis - "A Puzzlement".

1983 - 1984: Founding Member of the Merrick Meshuganas - Long Island's first and only, all Jewish, competitive, break dancing crew.

1985: Founding Member and Rhythm Guitarist of Black Diamond - Hard rock cover band, that performed in the Jr. High School Talent Show. Brian Bloom was our lead singer.

1990 - 1992: W.O.N.Y. Radio Station, Oneonta NY - Hosted Heavy Metal Radio show, "On Air Armageddon".

1998: Sweet Cherry - Supporting Role as "The Bad Boy" in the Independent Short Film, Sweet Cherry. Role was inspired by A.J. McLean of The Backstreet Boys.

1999 - 2008: Didn't do anything creative whatsoever.

2008 - Present: Out-Numbered - Author of the Dad Blog, Out-Numbered. Have posted several videos (2) of myself singing either Karaoke or Freestyle.

I am also happily married and a Father of two beautiful and popular daughters. I am confident that my strong connection (Via Out-Numbered) to the Parenting community and in turn their offspring, will help cast a wider and more diversified net, across what is currently, a modestly narrow demographic.

In conclusion, I'm not sure if you are currently taking unsolicited audition tapes. In any case, I am hereby submitting both a vocal audition tape and a dance audition tape. In the event that you are interested in meeting in person, please contact me via Twitter @Outnumberedisme or kindly leave a comment on this blog post. In order for me to verify the authenticity of your response, please leave your comment under the name of Nick's first puppy. I am certain this will provide you with the anonymity you most certainly require.

The Perfect Fan,