Friday, May 1, 2009

The Ugliest Shirt In The World...

So my daughter knows how much I like Spiderman and she just had to surprise me with this playful little number. Very thoughtful indeed. Unfortunately it's impossible to fully appreciate the finer intricacies of this classic piece of apparel via the Internet but I can assure you it is fabulous!

You don't have to be a Garmento to notice the luscious faux silk, effortlessly clinging to my 175 lb frame. The perfect blend of 98% rayon and 2% satin allows the shirt to breathe while still accenting the natural contours of the male torso. The material is so delicate that you can actually see tiny little chest hairs peeking ever so slightly through the fabric. That my friends, is sexy. The print itself is a classic throwback to the carefree days of 1960's comic book art. This particular "not so" limited issue is only available at your local Target, with only 3,000,000 shirts made.

What I find most enticing is how deeply the visuals wind up tugging at your fashion "heart strings". Whether it's the subtly of the faded urine tones in its color palette or the ultra confusing sense of organized chaos unfolding in the pictured scene, there is no question that your sense of nostalgia is summoned. If you are absolutely positive that you have seen this shirt before, you are in fact correct. Most young boys during the years of 1975 - 1979 slept on bed sheets and pillow cases that looked exactly like this shirt. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that my old Spiderman pillowcases and feety pajamas somehow wound up in Pakistan as materials, only to later be stitched together, shipped back to the U.S. of A and miraculously wind up back on my person. Amazing! No... Actually, Amazing Spiderman!

I chose to don this bold, yet understated slice of fashion heaven, around the office. My choice was accompanied by a comfortable pair faded blue jeans. I accented the combo by slipping on a pair of camouflage converse low tops. This outfit says, "Hey co-worker! I'm fun on the weekends and around the office but I still mean business." This is not to say that the shirt can't be worn with a dressier pair of slacks, perhaps Cavaricci's circa 1983. One trip to your local Chess King and you have the perfect ensemble for dinner with the wife or even a summer concert at the beach.

I am not sure what I did to deserve this unexpected and delightful gift but one thing is certainly true. When I wear my urine colored, Guido, comic book shirt, I feel like a superhero that can never be Out-Numbered...