1) I Am Very Sensitive...
and sensitive is sexy. I well up with tears every time I watch the movie Rudy. While most men try to hide these types of emotions, I put them out there for all to see. I want my girls to know that it's OK for a man to cry. As a matter of fact, I even cried today when I was running on the treadmill. I don't remember why I started crying on the treadmill. I think I also threw up.
2) The Language Of Love...
is Yiddish and I speak some Yiddish. I can say words like "bubbe", "bupkes", "mishpocheh", "shlemiel" and "tuches". Women go crazy for this sort of thing. My wife can't get enough of my Yiddish pillow talk...
3) Thongs...
are usually thought of as women's under garments but this is not necessarily true. I have long been an advocate of the male thong and I wear them often. They are comfortable and a perfect way to surprise your partner when you want to let her know you're feeling a little naughty. Meow!
4) Nipples...
are one of the most overlooked male attributes when it comes to hotness. This is why I never hesitate to wear clothing that accents my nipples. Satin shirts, white tees in cold weather, tube tops. Whatever it takes.
5) Brazilian...
is beautiful. Most women are afraid to tell their man to take care of business down there in the nether region. My woman doesn't have to. I don't wait until bathing suit season to hit the Salon. I go every three days. What can I say? I'm follicley challenged. I get it from my Maternal Grandfather.
6) Tattoos...
are bad ass and to be Hot, you need to be a little bit bad ass. So I got a bad ass tattoo on the small of my back. The words "Bad Ass" that is. In Celtic lettering style of course.
7) PLAYGIRL Magazine...
contacted me back in early 2002. They tried to coerce me into doing a full nude spread for their August issue but I respectfully declined. You see, my first born daughter was due that summer and I would let nothing distract me from what really mattered most. Even if it meant passing up the opportunity of a lifetime.
8) Richard Gere...
is one of my favorite actors. I basically try to emulate his performance from "Internal Affairs" on a daily basis. I have been a student of Gereology for quite some time and I find that by mimicking Richard Gere's facial expressions and walk cycles it is nearly impossible to botch any attempt at hotness.
9) Tanning Booths...
are pretty bad for you but they are absolutely essential when it comes to being Hot. I personally have very fair skin and therefore prone to various types of Melanoma. In order to be safe, I apply number 60 level sunscreen before each session as well as enter the tanning bed donning a full wet suit and swim cap. What have you got if you haven't got your health? Really.
10) Free Mustache Rides...
for anyone that feels Out-Numbered.
Click the badge below to vote if you haven't thrown up in your mouth... I won't let you down.
Posts
